A few weeks ago I attended a local author meet-up, hosted by Aviva Bel’Harold, and author I met last year at the Calgary Comic Expo. I always look forward to those meetings, mostly to hear what some of the other attendees are dealing with in terms of their own personal journeys from ‘aspiring author’ to ‘published author.’
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the past year and a half, and how my own journey down the author’s path has gone. I’d like to say that it’s going well, and I’ve been writing like a madman over the past 18 months, but that would be a lie. In fact, there are days when I wonder why I even think of myself as even an aspiring author. Don’t get me wrong; I know I have stories to tell, but when I finally try to get them out of my head and into some form of shareable format, it just doesn’t come out right.
Life’s been both cruel and kind to me as of late. After my little medical episode, I’ve been doing my best to level out and live a better life. I nearly lost my old job late last year because of the funk I’d been in, and that snapped me out of it for a time. In fact, I went from nearly fired to Employee of the Month in about 6 months…not bad if I do say so myself.
In February of this year though, I finally said good-bye to that old job and hello to a new one. I now work as a Transit Deployment Specialist, which is a fancy way of saying I install, configure, and train people on a Dispatch/Vehicle Location software suite that works with city transit vehicles. For each project I’m merely one component of a larger whole, but so far it’s been an incredible journey. I travel at least once per month to different client sites (all in the US so far), so I’m becoming a bit of a veteran when it comes to air travel at least.
Being more or less single has definitely helped me with this career change. I answer to no one at home, so there’s no need to placate someone’s insecurities about things like fidelity or the like. Granted, I still talk to my girlfriend when I’m away, but she’s in Pittsburgh so the dynamic of our relationship really hasn’t changed. No…for the current state of my life, this job is a perfect fit.
Unfortunately, it’s caused my own creativity to suffer. By day’s end I’m utterly exhausted both physically and mentally, and the last thing I want to do is sit in front of a computer and write. It’s a terrible thing to say, but there it is. When my brain finally DOES wake up and start thinking creatively, for some reason the journey from my mind to my hands causes whatever it is I want to put down to read like crap. Am I pushing myself too hard? I don’t know.
As of this writing, I’m 2/3 of the way through a 3-trip ordeal that started back in November. After next week I’ll be done with travelling for a few weeks, which should give me a chance to cool off and try to get my brain to recharge.
Overall, 2012 started as a fairly bleak year, but as December winds down and I look towards 2013, I can honestly say this past year has indeed been one of my best as of late. It feels like I’m finally hitting my stride with my life, which will re-ignite my desire to keep writing and finally get these stories out of my head and into a place where the world can read them.